What a week! Though this week was a hard one, I'm grateful for being pregnant. Warning: I am about to stand on a soap box! Just wanted to prepare anyone reading this.
The week started with a conversation that I never in my life thought I would have. Background Knowledge: At 24 weeks not only were we faced with the issue that Gabriel had heart and kidney problems, we learned that the piece in the brain that connects the left and the right was missing. At this point, this gave us a 1 in 6 chance that the issues with Gabriel were chromosomal and non conducive with life.
Here is the conversation:(This is a recording to the best of my ability to remember...you will understand the jest.)
OP (other person): When did you know there were Trisomy issues with Gabriel?
M (me): At 20 weeks they found a heart issue, and at 24 weeks they found a brain issue that meant Gabriel had a 1 in 6 chance of being labeled with a chromosome disorder like Trisomy.
OP: Why didn't you get an abortion then?
M: What, excuse me? (Thinking I had heard the OP incorrectly)
OP: Why didn't you get an abortion when you found out about the brain. Didn't you want your baby happy?
M: Well, we were given the option, but we were told that to do the abortion we would have to go to Kansas because Oklahoma and Texas do not do the procedure past 24 weeks, and I was 24 days. But this was something we never considered. We would NEVER have an abortion.
OP: Why not, you knew your baby wouldn't live a quality of life. It would have been very hard on everyone. The baby would not be happy.
M: (Now crying) I would never have an abortion. I would not do that to my baby.
OP: But were you thinking about the baby?
M: (Even more upset) I would never carry around the fact that I CHOSE TO KILL MY OWN BABY! For me to choose whether they lived or not would never be my decision to make but God's. I would never chose to kill my own baby! What if the doctors were wrong? What if I killed the baby and the baby was supposed to live! That would haunt me everyday, not knowing.
OP: I'm so sorry that is not what I meant. It sounds like you all had hope. I'm so sorry, please forgive me.
M:I forgive you. (I wish I had said, yes we have hope in Jesus, but I didn't.)
Of course I forgave the other person, but I have to say that opinions shouldn't always be shared. My sister said it was good to have gotten raw and open with this other person. That maybe they took away that life is valuable and not something to take lightly.
Another situation happened that I realize that words are very powerful. I am grateful for this friend enlightening me on this and not looking at the negative but the positive. Words can heal or hurt, and also keep us grounded. We have to be careful not to take others' words and project them into our lives. Friends should be able to listen to one another and not take the reality the friend is sharing and try to make them our own. Its a balance between sharing thoughts and being sensitive to others' feelings. One that I am always thinking about, but may not always do a great job. What I have learned tonight that no matter how hard I try to not say anything that would hurt another, the responibility also lies in the hearer to take what is said for the positive and not look at it from the negative.
I'm grateful that my friend took my words as a way to stay grounded, because I could see how easily it could have invoked fear. This friend is one of the most inspirational people I know and always looks at the positives! Love you friend!! Thanks for showing me this lesson whether you realized it or not.
Need to leave the above be...Onto baby news. On Christmas night the baby was kicking hard enough that I could see my shirt move where the baby kicked. Johnny still hasn't felt or seen the baby, but it should be any day now. It likes to play hide and seek, because since Christmas night when the baby kicks or moves I can see it on my belly. Cool stuff!
Speaking of kicking, last week I wrote of the kick that hurt my ribs. Well the day after Christmas, the pain was so bad that when I tried to cough I cried. Johnny is having to hold a pillow around me when I feel like I have to cough. We are going to wrap it in ace bandages and I'm not going to be doing much of anything the next 4 days. Thank goodness, I am not having to teach 5/6 year olds this week.
**Its so funny to me how pictures taken with the same camera can come out so different. Who knows why my week 24 pic is so small?
Monday, December 27, 2010
Friday, December 24, 2010
Week 23
Merry Christmas! Happy Birthday Jesus! Thank you for coming as an infant and dying on the cross, so we may know the Lord and have life everlasting!!
Last Friday night, Johnny got us tickets to the Nutcracker. Baby was dancing away the whole program. Afterwards we were laying on the sofa watching a movie and baby kicked so hard that I jumped! It scared Johnny. It was a really hard kick.
The next morning my ribs were sore. I didn't think anything of it until I kept saying how sore they were and wondered what happened. Johnny asked if it could have been from the kick. Sure enough, it is in the exact same spot. I looked it up online and called a few friends and I am inferring (like this term Rosa Parks friends) that the baby kicked so hard the little darling bruised me. Crazy!
I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas! Blessings each and everyone one!
Last Friday night, Johnny got us tickets to the Nutcracker. Baby was dancing away the whole program. Afterwards we were laying on the sofa watching a movie and baby kicked so hard that I jumped! It scared Johnny. It was a really hard kick.
The next morning my ribs were sore. I didn't think anything of it until I kept saying how sore they were and wondered what happened. Johnny asked if it could have been from the kick. Sure enough, it is in the exact same spot. I looked it up online and called a few friends and I am inferring (like this term Rosa Parks friends) that the baby kicked so hard the little darling bruised me. Crazy!
I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas! Blessings each and everyone one!
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Week 22
Officially in full maternity clothes this week. Shirts and pants... Johnny was super cute about it. He simply said, "I think your done with those. (meaning my regular sweaters, shirts.)" This coming from the guy that swore with our first pregnancy that maternity clothes were a way for stores to make more money and they were not really needed!
Baby is doing really good! Kicks and moves a lot. I feel like Johnny will be able to feel any day, but when I call Johnny to come feel, it is like the baby knows and completely stops. Then Johnny leaves and baby starts up again. Lil' stinker.
The foundation has been laid on the house. Johnny has been trying to find framers. On our way!!
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Week 21
Told my students today that we are having a baby. Boy are they excited! They all got to ask if question if they wanted. Some made statements. Here are the Top 5.
5. When the baby is 5 like us will you bring them to school with us?
4. Did you know that the baby will cut out and then they sew you back?
3. Will you bring the baby to visit us? So sweet.
2. Women push babies out of their wa wa.
1. Mrs. Gaffney, how can you be having a baby? Your belly is so little.
**I also found out that lots of their moms are having babies (so not true) and that one is not having a baby, but just fat. I'm sure the moms would all appreciate this!
Concrete is being poured for the house today. Pictures to come with this!!
5. When the baby is 5 like us will you bring them to school with us?
4. Did you know that the baby will cut out and then they sew you back?
3. Will you bring the baby to visit us? So sweet.
2. Women push babies out of their wa wa.
1. Mrs. Gaffney, how can you be having a baby? Your belly is so little.
**I also found out that lots of their moms are having babies (so not true) and that one is not having a baby, but just fat. I'm sure the moms would all appreciate this!
Concrete is being poured for the house today. Pictures to come with this!!
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Week 20 part 2
Baby Gaffney is.....HEALTHY!! 100% perfect as Dr. Nilson said.
Baby weighs 15 oz already. Almost 1 lb. It is amazing how time flies. Due date is still April 20th!
Baby weighs 15 oz already. Almost 1 lb. It is amazing how time flies. Due date is still April 20th!
In other good news, Johnny has a new baby too.
Prayerfully there will not be a RV in this baby's future! We pour concrete on Thursday so please pray for weather.
I'm not sure why the baby picture is smaller than the house pic, but it was the only way to get it to work. Just grateful for both!!
I'm feeling great, joy does come in the morning. It is so cool to see God redeeming so many areas of our life that we have been in waiting mode for... Love him!
Blessings all!
I'm feeling great, joy does come in the morning. It is so cool to see God redeeming so many areas of our life that we have been in waiting mode for... Love him!
Blessings all!
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Week 20 part 1
What a difference 4 weeks can make. Crazy with how the belly grows!! Having difficulity posting pic, but will soon.
The U/S was rescheduled. There was a car accident, and Dr. Nilson had was called into the hospital. Please pray for mom and baby. Scary. The appointment has been rescheduled for Tuesday, Dec. 7th at 8:30 am. I will post the news on Tuesday afternoon.
The U/S was rescheduled. There was a car accident, and Dr. Nilson had was called into the hospital. Please pray for mom and baby. Scary. The appointment has been rescheduled for Tuesday, Dec. 7th at 8:30 am. I will post the news on Tuesday afternoon.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Week 19
Happy Thanksgiving!
I am digging the idea of the blog. As I was reflecting on it, it occurred to me that it will help when it is time to put a baby book together. For all the 1sts will be recorded.
We received our first baby gift from wonderful, Jane Morrison. She left a receiving blanket on my desk. This was another milestone conquered. Here is why. I called Emily to see if she had left it, and having lost 2 babies herself, she knows my thoughts and feelings pretty well. She said, "No, I wasn't sure it was time to give you gifts yet." My response, "Well I'm looking at it and it is not sending fear through me. So I must be ready." It is starting to feel more real.
The Lord has been working on my heart to not be so guarded in our my heart, but to celebrate. But, even as I write this its hard for me to not have seen/heard the evidence of next week's U/S and still let go completely. I want to, mind you. I do. But I fight the thought that pregnancy has not equaled baby yet.
However, this baby is for sure stronger and Johnny and I are both enjoying each day we have with our little blessing. I've been teasing Johnny that this baby is not a morning baby at all. I have only felt the little one move once before 8:00am. This is humorous because Johnny and I both wake up before 6:00am. The other night at midnight, the baby woke me up. I told Johnny it was like the baby was having a party in my belly! What will we be in store for?
On this Thanksgiving afternoon, I am thankful for each and everyone of you who have committed to walk beside us and lift us up! Thank you for caring! Thank you for being you!!
I am digging the idea of the blog. As I was reflecting on it, it occurred to me that it will help when it is time to put a baby book together. For all the 1sts will be recorded.
We received our first baby gift from wonderful, Jane Morrison. She left a receiving blanket on my desk. This was another milestone conquered. Here is why. I called Emily to see if she had left it, and having lost 2 babies herself, she knows my thoughts and feelings pretty well. She said, "No, I wasn't sure it was time to give you gifts yet." My response, "Well I'm looking at it and it is not sending fear through me. So I must be ready." It is starting to feel more real.
The Lord has been working on my heart to not be so guarded in our my heart, but to celebrate. But, even as I write this its hard for me to not have seen/heard the evidence of next week's U/S and still let go completely. I want to, mind you. I do. But I fight the thought that pregnancy has not equaled baby yet.
However, this baby is for sure stronger and Johnny and I are both enjoying each day we have with our little blessing. I've been teasing Johnny that this baby is not a morning baby at all. I have only felt the little one move once before 8:00am. This is humorous because Johnny and I both wake up before 6:00am. The other night at midnight, the baby woke me up. I told Johnny it was like the baby was having a party in my belly! What will we be in store for?
On this Thanksgiving afternoon, I am thankful for each and everyone of you who have committed to walk beside us and lift us up! Thank you for caring! Thank you for being you!!
Friday, November 19, 2010
Week 18
I wish there was something to report. Dr. Nilson's office canceled yesterday appointment because he was delivering two babies.
Kicks are definitely getting stronger. This puts my mind at ease, so I'm doing good with not seeing baby yesterday.
Our big milestone U/S is on Dec. 2nd. The 20 week U/S where they check for the health of all major organs. This is where life got turned upside down with Gabriel. Praying that there will be no surprises!!
Thanks for walking with us and praying!
Kellie
Kicks are definitely getting stronger. This puts my mind at ease, so I'm doing good with not seeing baby yesterday.
Our big milestone U/S is on Dec. 2nd. The 20 week U/S where they check for the health of all major organs. This is where life got turned upside down with Gabriel. Praying that there will be no surprises!!
Thanks for walking with us and praying!
Kellie
Friday, November 12, 2010
Week 17
Not much to report this week. Next doctor's appointment is next week.
When I'm at school, I forget that I'm pregnant. With 23, 5 and 6 year olds it is quite easy, but this week baby has been moving alot towards the end of the school day. Like I'm here, just want you to know. Love the connection.
Have a great week!
Kellie
When I'm at school, I forget that I'm pregnant. With 23, 5 and 6 year olds it is quite easy, but this week baby has been moving alot towards the end of the school day. Like I'm here, just want you to know. Love the connection.
Have a great week!
Kellie
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Week 16
So we hit a big milestone in our hearts this week! Johnny and I actually bought the baby's 1st gift. This is going to sound so sad, but with Gabriel we never bought him anything. We had friends give us gifts, but Johnny and I never bought him anything. Even when we buried him, we felt that Jesus came into the world swaddled in a blanket and left the world covered in a shroud and so that is how we buried Gabriel. Now that I think about it, I think we did buy the burial blanket. The memory is a little fuzzy. Anyway...sidetracked... back to my thoughts. Johnny and I wanted the baby's first gift to be from us as a sign of faith and TRUST. As you can imagine, Johnny is super pleased with what we bought. I'm glad K-State is purple, a neutral color.
Am I pushing my belly out? I feel like it looks like I am. I'm not trying to but this was the best of the pics. Thanks Shaleah for being my photographer.Love that I am getting energy back and the moodiness is wearing off. I love the 2nd trimester!!
Last night, we were sitting in bible study with two other couples. All of a sudden, I jumped because I felt something really weird. Everyone laughed! It was supper funny because we were in a deep conversation. After thinking about it and talking with the other girls in the group, I believe it was a kick! However, isn't it a little early for feeling this because with Gabriel I was 22 weeks? Wondering now, if I will feel anymore this week.
Would love to know how far along others were with the first flutter and the first kick. Have a great week!
Friday, October 29, 2010
Week 15
This week was a pretty uneventful week. I was playing around with my heart rate monitor that I use for working out and just wondered if I could find the baby's heartbeat...almost instantly I found 186 and I knew that it wasn't mine. That was pretty cool. I used to do the same with Gabriel, but I never picked it up fully. I would know that he was there, but the heart rate monitor didn't register him fully. I felt it was the Lord's way of letting me know this baby is stronger.Appointment yesterday, Dr. Nilson said that baby is normal, blood work came back normal and BABY is Normal. My mom went with me and so she can testify that I had him tell me about 5 times. The man is extremely patient!!
Not much else to report except, I have had some co-workers tell me that I am definitely looking pregnant now. And according to my sweet and honest friend Emily, I am getting out of the beer belly phase and into the yes, she is pregnant phase. ;)
**My friend started chemo, and my thoughts are on another friend who is having a biopsy done on Nov. 9th. Prayers for Cancer-free are pouring out for both of you wonderful ladies, who have touched my life and walked so closely with me along my journey! I feel honored to share in yours.
Blessings to you all on this glorious Friday!
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Week 14
Flutter, flutter, flutter... Starting to feel the sweet movements of this little one. With Gabriel, I was 15 weeks. This is one of my most favorite things of being pregnant, feeling the connection between you and baby. Baby letting me know with each movement felt, that life is growing within. What a precious time!
October is Breast Awareness Month. I would like to take the opportunity to lift up to you all for prayers, one of my sweetest, dearest friends. She found out last week that she has Invasive Lobular Breast Cancer. Invasive Lobular is a little different than other breast cancers because the "rebellious cells" form a single line, like an army, and attack the breast. Once it has attacked the breast it moves onto other organs. She is so amazing that she wasn't sure how to tell me because of putting stress on myself and the baby. I want to tell her that I love her, and I am ready to walk beside her with prayers and willingness to be there for anything she needs.
It is all happening so fast. She found out last week and by Friday of this week she will have her chemo port put in and will start chemo the following Tuesday. Please lift up her, her family and all others dealing with cancer.
**I forgot to tell you about the attitude of my friend with the news of her cancer. Truly extraordinary! Basically, she was get your knees to the floor and pray, because I'm going to beat this thing! Love her!!
October is Breast Awareness Month. I would like to take the opportunity to lift up to you all for prayers, one of my sweetest, dearest friends. She found out last week that she has Invasive Lobular Breast Cancer. Invasive Lobular is a little different than other breast cancers because the "rebellious cells" form a single line, like an army, and attack the breast. Once it has attacked the breast it moves onto other organs. She is so amazing that she wasn't sure how to tell me because of putting stress on myself and the baby. I want to tell her that I love her, and I am ready to walk beside her with prayers and willingness to be there for anything she needs.
It is all happening so fast. She found out last week and by Friday of this week she will have her chemo port put in and will start chemo the following Tuesday. Please lift up her, her family and all others dealing with cancer.
**I forgot to tell you about the attitude of my friend with the news of her cancer. Truly extraordinary! Basically, she was get your knees to the floor and pray, because I'm going to beat this thing! Love her!!
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Week 13
Yay! Second Trimester! This is where the fun begins.
This blog has been a great outlet for me. This week has been sooo exhausting! I am in bed every night by 8:30.
This week has made me sad a little too. If you have ever lost a child, I am sure you can hear my heart on this. It makes me so sad when friends or even acquaintances act as though I'm a leper because we lost Gabriel at 2 days old. I want to shout, "I promise it is not contagious! You will not catch recurrent miscarriage or infant loss by sharing your pregnancy with me. God has His plan, nothing you do or don't do will change it." I had to come to terms that I can't let their actions control me. My joy is that God has chosen to bless us at this moment with this life growing inside of me. No matter how long or short, I get to know this being, God has a plan! Now, selfishly I pray that this little one, outlive Johnny and me by years to come. Also, I want them to experience their own family and the love of our Savior.
Baby's heart rate was 184 and looks really good. I'm thinking that the little one looks like Johnny already.
Dr. Nilson got the results back. He is going to clarify with the reporter because he said they were reported differently than any before. However, the way he is reading them now says that our chances of having anything wrong with baby is less than a normal person's chances. Does that make sense? Basically, they look really good.
My friend, Jessica went with me and I called her last night because my thoughts started thinking that maybe Dr. Nilson wasn't honest and he wasn't sure that they were good. Jessica said very sweetly, "Kellie, I heard you ask and Dr. Nilson tell you 5 times that Yes! the baby looks normal!"
Have a great week friends!
This blog has been a great outlet for me. This week has been sooo exhausting! I am in bed every night by 8:30.
This week has made me sad a little too. If you have ever lost a child, I am sure you can hear my heart on this. It makes me so sad when friends or even acquaintances act as though I'm a leper because we lost Gabriel at 2 days old. I want to shout, "I promise it is not contagious! You will not catch recurrent miscarriage or infant loss by sharing your pregnancy with me. God has His plan, nothing you do or don't do will change it." I had to come to terms that I can't let their actions control me. My joy is that God has chosen to bless us at this moment with this life growing inside of me. No matter how long or short, I get to know this being, God has a plan! Now, selfishly I pray that this little one, outlive Johnny and me by years to come. Also, I want them to experience their own family and the love of our Savior.
Baby's heart rate was 184 and looks really good. I'm thinking that the little one looks like Johnny already.
Dr. Nilson got the results back. He is going to clarify with the reporter because he said they were reported differently than any before. However, the way he is reading them now says that our chances of having anything wrong with baby is less than a normal person's chances. Does that make sense? Basically, they look really good.
My friend, Jessica went with me and I called her last night because my thoughts started thinking that maybe Dr. Nilson wasn't honest and he wasn't sure that they were good. Jessica said very sweetly, "Kellie, I heard you ask and Dr. Nilson tell you 5 times that Yes! the baby looks normal!"
Have a great week friends!
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Week 12
Nothing major to report except, I made it to 12 weeks!
Dr. Nilson did not call with the results of the test. I'm actually fine with not knowing because I go next week and I figured I don't need more worries to add to my list. Life has been peaceful TRUSTing God. Love Him so much! My love is not dependant on whether the baby makes it or not. (my circumstances) But my love is based on HIM as I AM. He is my everything! I'm feeling all bubbly with love.
Here is my first pregnancy pic. A little belly. Have a great day! Blessings to you All!
An update from Last Week.
Eww! My PCP came back with my diagnosis: Shigellosis
Please read the link below because it can be caused from little ones not washing their hands or contaminated food from food handlers.
Please read the link below because it can be caused from little ones not washing their hands or contaminated food from food handlers.
It is amazing what a day makes. After the diagnosis and a Z pack. I was a brand new person. When you're sick, it is hard to think of what feeling better feels like. But when you are recovering, what a huge difference. Thanks so much for the prayers, so needed. I was laughing to myself, because last week I posted on FB to please pray that I be healed so I could work on Monday. Now, I'm going back to work on Monday, but not the Monday I was thinking. I guess I should have been a little more specific in my prayers.
Friday, October 1, 2010
Week 11
Sorry for not posting last night, technical difficulties. I think my claim will be that it will be posted by Fridays at 4:00pm.
Race for the cure. soccer game. lunch. nap. fever 102.3. sickness. dehydration. passing out. ER. IV fluids. more sickness. Imodium. dr. appts. more sickness. off Imodium. Pedilyte. loss of 5 pounds. more sickness. more dr. appts. prayerful healing!
This was my week from Saturday morning to right now.
I just left my doctor's office and she still doesn't know what is going on with my body. She is hesitant to give me anything because I'm pregnant. We do know that it is not a parasite! Yay to no parasite! She said to call her by 6:00 pm today for the final news. She had been hoping it would have just run its course, and it is getting better but its not gone. She took quite a bit of blood work to make sure that it wasn't causing any liver and other damage.
However in baby world! Things are back on a positive note. Baby was so cute yesterday. Dr. Nilson was playing with him/her. He wanted the baby to move so he would poke my belly, and the baby appeared as though he/she was wanting to play with Dr. Nilson. The funny thing was when I would poke, the baby would just jiggle on the screen and not move, but when he did it the baby performed all sorts of funny things. There was a room full of ahhs and how cutes and laughter. Just what the doctor ordered!
The nuchal fold was still 1.8 mm in some places and 1.4 mm in other places. So it is in the Normal range. (which is anything under 2.5mm) We went ahead and did blood work. They compare the blood work and the nuchal fold measurement to give you ratio to if the baby could have a chromosomal abnormality. They said they would call with results. But Dr. Nilson was very positive that all was normal. Johnny and I left with a sense of relief.
If you live in Tulsa and need an OB, I highly recommend Dr. Nilson. Here are a few more reasons why:
1. He finished the u/s, cleaned up, and realized he forgot to print a picture. Instead of telling us next time. He got his stuff back out just to print us a picture.
2. I don't remember what was said, but he said "Kellie, we are all invested in this pregnancy." Love it!!
As time goes on, we both are trying to let our guards down, but I'm thinking for me it might come at the 20 week u/s. This is when things started going wrong for Gabriel.
Thank you all for the prayers. I know prayers work. After Thursday night, I had a peace that transcended all understanding the rest of the week. Even with being as sick as I am right now, I still had a peace. Emily Wade said, "Maybe you are not getting well quickly, because the baby is taking all the nutrients it needs first." Good thought, and one that I am more than happy for that to be the case.
Love you all and thanks again for your interest, support, and prayers into our lives!
Kellie
Race for the cure. soccer game. lunch. nap. fever 102.3. sickness. dehydration. passing out. ER. IV fluids. more sickness. Imodium. dr. appts. more sickness. off Imodium. Pedilyte. loss of 5 pounds. more sickness. more dr. appts. prayerful healing!
This was my week from Saturday morning to right now.
I just left my doctor's office and she still doesn't know what is going on with my body. She is hesitant to give me anything because I'm pregnant. We do know that it is not a parasite! Yay to no parasite! She said to call her by 6:00 pm today for the final news. She had been hoping it would have just run its course, and it is getting better but its not gone. She took quite a bit of blood work to make sure that it wasn't causing any liver and other damage.
However in baby world! Things are back on a positive note. Baby was so cute yesterday. Dr. Nilson was playing with him/her. He wanted the baby to move so he would poke my belly, and the baby appeared as though he/she was wanting to play with Dr. Nilson. The funny thing was when I would poke, the baby would just jiggle on the screen and not move, but when he did it the baby performed all sorts of funny things. There was a room full of ahhs and how cutes and laughter. Just what the doctor ordered!
The nuchal fold was still 1.8 mm in some places and 1.4 mm in other places. So it is in the Normal range. (which is anything under 2.5mm) We went ahead and did blood work. They compare the blood work and the nuchal fold measurement to give you ratio to if the baby could have a chromosomal abnormality. They said they would call with results. But Dr. Nilson was very positive that all was normal. Johnny and I left with a sense of relief.
If you live in Tulsa and need an OB, I highly recommend Dr. Nilson. Here are a few more reasons why:
1. He finished the u/s, cleaned up, and realized he forgot to print a picture. Instead of telling us next time. He got his stuff back out just to print us a picture.
2. I don't remember what was said, but he said "Kellie, we are all invested in this pregnancy." Love it!!
As time goes on, we both are trying to let our guards down, but I'm thinking for me it might come at the 20 week u/s. This is when things started going wrong for Gabriel.
Thank you all for the prayers. I know prayers work. After Thursday night, I had a peace that transcended all understanding the rest of the week. Even with being as sick as I am right now, I still had a peace. Emily Wade said, "Maybe you are not getting well quickly, because the baby is taking all the nutrients it needs first." Good thought, and one that I am more than happy for that to be the case.
Love you all and thanks again for your interest, support, and prayers into our lives!
Kellie
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Week 10
Can this really be happening again? Please Lord, say it isn't so!
Today's ultra sound did not go as perfect as the rest. Dr. Nilson found a 1.8 mm nuchal fold. You can see in the picture it is from the head to the spine of the baby. Here is the wikipedia explanation of the test they will be doing next week to see if we have markers for any chromosome abnormality. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nuchal_scan Dr. Nilson couldn't do the test today because you have to be at least 10 1/2 weeks.
I couldn't find much on if you see the nuchal fold in week 10 what actually does it mean. Dr. Nilson said that there are lots of cases that it is gone by week 11. PLEASE PRAY this to be the case. We didn't tell most people we were pregnant because we wanted a few to pray and felt positive this pregnancy would be different, but after finding this out I want as many prayers as possible. There is the big debate as to when to tell, but we have told right away, not at all, and at 12 weeks with all outcomes the same. So for us, I think at the end of the day for my Spirit, I do best when I know people are praying.
Heart ache and trying to not take this too hard is what is going through my mind right now. NOTHING is impossible for OUR GOD! NOTHING! His power is made perfect in my weakness and this is what I will be holding onto until next week's ultrasound. I am praying this is more of a test of my Faith and believing that he can bless us and miraculous healing of this abnormality than it is of showing others that perseverance is possible with God's strength.
Thanks for loving and supporting us! Kellie
Today's ultra sound did not go as perfect as the rest. Dr. Nilson found a 1.8 mm nuchal fold. You can see in the picture it is from the head to the spine of the baby. Here is the wikipedia explanation of the test they will be doing next week to see if we have markers for any chromosome abnormality. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nuchal_scan Dr. Nilson couldn't do the test today because you have to be at least 10 1/2 weeks.
I couldn't find much on if you see the nuchal fold in week 10 what actually does it mean. Dr. Nilson said that there are lots of cases that it is gone by week 11. PLEASE PRAY this to be the case. We didn't tell most people we were pregnant because we wanted a few to pray and felt positive this pregnancy would be different, but after finding this out I want as many prayers as possible. There is the big debate as to when to tell, but we have told right away, not at all, and at 12 weeks with all outcomes the same. So for us, I think at the end of the day for my Spirit, I do best when I know people are praying.
Heart ache and trying to not take this too hard is what is going through my mind right now. NOTHING is impossible for OUR GOD! NOTHING! His power is made perfect in my weakness and this is what I will be holding onto until next week's ultrasound. I am praying this is more of a test of my Faith and believing that he can bless us and miraculous healing of this abnormality than it is of showing others that perseverance is possible with God's strength.
Thanks for loving and supporting us! Kellie
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Week 9
Baby is doing well. The due date is now my birthday, April 20th. What a neat gift. I know most babies aren't born on their actual due date, but if our little one is then it will be with their and my BFF, Kate!
We had a friend whose sister miscarried this week at 12 weeks. This has really touched my heart, and I have been praying for healing and understanding for my friend's sister. I personally believe that of all my pregnancies, Gabriel was the easiest to deal with the loss because we got to see him, hold him, and name him. We have memories that will last a lifetime. With our other three little darlings, we will never know if they were boys or girls, what they look like. Miscarriage is still a loss and very devastating to the mom. No one else is as invested as the mom is from the day she finds out she is pregnant. At times, miscarriages are pushed aside with the words it wasn't meant to be, but it doesn't help the woman who at times feels like she is grieving alone. Cards and notes that you are thinking of the mom are really helpful. My K-1 team got me flowers after our 2nd miscarriage and that was a life touch that impacted my spirit and made it easier to deal with instantly. Thanks girls!!
This brought back some fear and that maybe we shouldn't be as hopeful as we are at this point. But Dr. Nilson is great and his words of encouragement were, "Kellie, we are doing everything we can do. Baby is looking great and you are at a normal pregnancy level now. Miscarriage rate is still 2-3%, but it is like this for every woman. You can't do anything more, but wait." I took it as to wait on the Lord. It is His choice not mine. I want to hold onto Him, and not my own doing. So, I am feeling now.
Something, I was excited about this week. I had to go buy some belly bands because some of my pants are a little snug. With Gabriel, I didn't show until I was 21 weeks. I think with this one, it is going to be a lot sooner.
The video posted is of the heartbeat which is up to 184. Then you will hear Dr. Nilson bantering with Johnny and me about the sex of the baby. I called Gabriel, Rachel the entire pregnancy because I was certain he was a girl. This time, I am not even going to try to guess. A healthy, living baby who grows to Love the Lord is what we want!! Can I get an Amen!
We had a friend whose sister miscarried this week at 12 weeks. This has really touched my heart, and I have been praying for healing and understanding for my friend's sister. I personally believe that of all my pregnancies, Gabriel was the easiest to deal with the loss because we got to see him, hold him, and name him. We have memories that will last a lifetime. With our other three little darlings, we will never know if they were boys or girls, what they look like. Miscarriage is still a loss and very devastating to the mom. No one else is as invested as the mom is from the day she finds out she is pregnant. At times, miscarriages are pushed aside with the words it wasn't meant to be, but it doesn't help the woman who at times feels like she is grieving alone. Cards and notes that you are thinking of the mom are really helpful. My K-1 team got me flowers after our 2nd miscarriage and that was a life touch that impacted my spirit and made it easier to deal with instantly. Thanks girls!!
This brought back some fear and that maybe we shouldn't be as hopeful as we are at this point. But Dr. Nilson is great and his words of encouragement were, "Kellie, we are doing everything we can do. Baby is looking great and you are at a normal pregnancy level now. Miscarriage rate is still 2-3%, but it is like this for every woman. You can't do anything more, but wait." I took it as to wait on the Lord. It is His choice not mine. I want to hold onto Him, and not my own doing. So, I am feeling now.
Something, I was excited about this week. I had to go buy some belly bands because some of my pants are a little snug. With Gabriel, I didn't show until I was 21 weeks. I think with this one, it is going to be a lot sooner.
The video posted is of the heartbeat which is up to 184. Then you will hear Dr. Nilson bantering with Johnny and me about the sex of the baby. I called Gabriel, Rachel the entire pregnancy because I was certain he was a girl. This time, I am not even going to try to guess. A healthy, living baby who grows to Love the Lord is what we want!! Can I get an Amen!
Week 8
Going well...except, I have been having panic attacks while I sleep. They usually revolve around that I have not taken the right supplements and this will hurt the baby or that I'm not doing something I am supposed to do. Please pray for calmness during sleep. I think I am having them because I am so busy with my kindergartners all day and things at night with Johnny that my mind is trying to address things that I haven't had time to address. I pray for more quiet times before the Lord, as I am writing this, I am thinking this could help.
I actually filled out regular maternity paperwork today! I am being considered as a normal pregnant woman!! Saw baby and heartbeat is up to 179. Things are going really well.
I have posted a picture of the baby in 3D. The head is leaning to the right with what looks to be a really long neck and you can make out the nose, mouth, arms crossed over chest, belly, and legs. Our little alien, I think it looks very sincere already.
Week 7
In for my 2nd round of the infusion, it was as easy as the first. A huge praise is that there were no side effects. Then another ultrasound, we could actually see a little peanut on the screen and the heart beat was up to 132. All was looking really good!
I had my first round of morning sickness this week. I called Johnny to tell him that I threw up, because even with Gabriel I had never experienced morning sickness. This was a gift given to let me know everything was going as planned. I also shared with a few friends who got so excited with me that I got sick. Funny, what we think is good at times.
I had my first round of morning sickness this week. I called Johnny to tell him that I threw up, because even with Gabriel I had never experienced morning sickness. This was a gift given to let me know everything was going as planned. I also shared with a few friends who got so excited with me that I got sick. Funny, what we think is good at times.
Week 6
Dr. Nilson is letting me come in every week to check on the baby. This week, he did an ultrasound and said if we could hear the heartbeat, it would be time to do a second and last round of the infusion. With Gabriel, we saw the heartbeat at 8 weeks and actually heard it at 12 weeks, so I wasn't thinking it possible. However, we did! It was amazing to be looking at something you could barely see and see the heart beating away, in fact that was the only thing you could see on the screen. Heart beat was 110. He said that it was just ramping up, but with those words fear overtook me.
With our first miscarriage, my mom and I saw the baby and the heart beat was 120 and the nurse said it was a little low (I was at 7 weeks with this pregnancy). Then a few hours later, I lost the baby. So I called a few friends and prayed. This brought a tremendous relief. Waiting was all we could do.
With our first miscarriage, my mom and I saw the baby and the heart beat was 120 and the nurse said it was a little low (I was at 7 weeks with this pregnancy). Then a few hours later, I lost the baby. So I called a few friends and prayed. This brought a tremendous relief. Waiting was all we could do.
Week 5
The next step was an infusion of immunoglobulin. This means that I had an IV with plasma going into my blood to help the natural killer cells not think the baby is cancer so they would not attack the little one.
Kristin was my personal nurse and we were set up in a back room at Dr. Nilson's office. It was quite painless and only took 2 hours. They thought it would take anywhere from 3-5 hours, so what a blessing that she started it, gave me Benadryl, started a movie, I fell asleep and woke up right as the movie was ending and she was taking out the IV.
Now all we had to do was wait to see if it would work! So far so good.
Kristin was my personal nurse and we were set up in a back room at Dr. Nilson's office. It was quite painless and only took 2 hours. They thought it would take anywhere from 3-5 hours, so what a blessing that she started it, gave me Benadryl, started a movie, I fell asleep and woke up right as the movie was ending and she was taking out the IV.
Now all we had to do was wait to see if it would work! So far so good.
Week 4
July, 29, 2010
Two red lines...pregnant again...
Excited and so nervous/scared again! We have been here 4 other times before.
Pregnancy at this point to Johnny and I is not a naive, jumping of joy full of hopes and dreams for the future. Reality for us is, pregnancy is nothing more than being pregnant. Pregnancy does not equal baby in our book. What a pessimistic way to start a pregnancy maybe your thinking and could this be good for the baby? Only God knows, but our truth nonetheless.
I want this blog to be an honest expression of my feelings. You are free to agree with me or not. I know for many that know me, some never see the struggles that I face. Not that I put on a show, but I do find that God's Grace is abundant in my weakness. It is by His power that I walk in peace daily. However, none of us are free from negative thoughts, so when they happen I would like to share them. I will also share joys along this journey. My prayer is there is so many more reasons to praise our Glorious Father than to ask for His intervention!
Most people wait until week 6-10 to go to the doctor, but with our special circumstances and with my amazing doctor, Dr. Nilson, I headed to the doctor today.
You see I had just been in the month before and he told me that Johnny and I were dilly-dallying. (his exact words) He stated that I wasn't getting any younger and that Johnny and I needed to "get busy." He took all these tests to see how close to menopause I am, and how many eggs I have left. All the tests came back very positive. I have lots of eggs left and am no where near menopause. He also was trying to get Johnny and me to go to Saint Louis for Invitro Fertilization because of our outcome with Gabriel.
So, when I walked into his office 3 weeks later after doing all the above blood work, he looked at me and said, "Wow, you two made that look easy." So he took my HCG levels and told me if they were doubling in 48 hours we would continue to the next step. On Sunday morning, Dr. Nilson called (this is why I love the guy, what doctor calls you personally on a Sunday to tell you good news). My levels went from 100-300, so we were good to go!
Two red lines...pregnant again...
Excited and so nervous/scared again! We have been here 4 other times before.
Pregnancy at this point to Johnny and I is not a naive, jumping of joy full of hopes and dreams for the future. Reality for us is, pregnancy is nothing more than being pregnant. Pregnancy does not equal baby in our book. What a pessimistic way to start a pregnancy maybe your thinking and could this be good for the baby? Only God knows, but our truth nonetheless.
I want this blog to be an honest expression of my feelings. You are free to agree with me or not. I know for many that know me, some never see the struggles that I face. Not that I put on a show, but I do find that God's Grace is abundant in my weakness. It is by His power that I walk in peace daily. However, none of us are free from negative thoughts, so when they happen I would like to share them. I will also share joys along this journey. My prayer is there is so many more reasons to praise our Glorious Father than to ask for His intervention!
Most people wait until week 6-10 to go to the doctor, but with our special circumstances and with my amazing doctor, Dr. Nilson, I headed to the doctor today.
You see I had just been in the month before and he told me that Johnny and I were dilly-dallying. (his exact words) He stated that I wasn't getting any younger and that Johnny and I needed to "get busy." He took all these tests to see how close to menopause I am, and how many eggs I have left. All the tests came back very positive. I have lots of eggs left and am no where near menopause. He also was trying to get Johnny and me to go to Saint Louis for Invitro Fertilization because of our outcome with Gabriel.
So, when I walked into his office 3 weeks later after doing all the above blood work, he looked at me and said, "Wow, you two made that look easy." So he took my HCG levels and told me if they were doubling in 48 hours we would continue to the next step. On Sunday morning, Dr. Nilson called (this is why I love the guy, what doctor calls you personally on a Sunday to tell you good news). My levels went from 100-300, so we were good to go!
Gabriel's Email
This is the email that I sent after Gabriel was born. I believe the Lord awoke me at 3:00 am from my hospital room to pen His words. May you be blessed as you read it.
Also, here is a link to a memorial video that our friend, Fred Cuhna made for Gabriel.
www.helpmefred.com/Gabriel
Gabriel Gaffney came into this world at 10:07 am, July 2, 2008. He is here with us, for what we know will only be a few days and then the Lord will receive him and ask us to place him in His care. He will be dedicated to the Lord's loving embrace this Friday, July 4th.
He is 1 lb 12 oz, and 12 inches long. He has lots of dark hair like his daddy. Johnny says he wouldn't have any problem growing a beard like his old man. He is precious. We love him so much already! He has been born with Trisomy 18. We chose Gabriel as his name because we know now that he is not destined to live on this earth, but in the heavenly realms. We wanted him to have an angel's name that exemplified who he is. The angel Gabriel is the herald of all God's mysteries.
From a mother's heart: there are so many thoughts that are running through my mind. When I went into labor on Monday, I felt the Lord urge me in my heart to send an email out titled "choices." Being so heavily sedated and going back into labor before I could put the words to paper, I would love it if you would indulge me on that original email as though we had not given birth to Baby Gabriel.
Here is how it would have gone:
Subject: Baby Gaffney Choices
Dear friends and family,
At this point with more indication markers found by the doctors we believe we have a choice to make based on what we know of our Heavenly Father.
The doctors have now identified 6 markers that lead us to a higher probability that our baby will have a chromosomal issue that is not conducive with life. Here is what they have found: 1. the heart issue, 2. the kidney issue, 3. the missing connective tissue in the brain, 4. higher than normal amniotic fluid, 5. rocker bottom fee, 6. for the 1st time the baby's developmental size does not match the gestational size.
For my sweet friends who read the above laundry list and are already mourning the loss of our little baby:
Have faith. God is the God of yesterday, today, and tomorrow. He hasn't changed and still preforms the miracles of old.
I was given a dream many of you know the day before Johnny and I conceived on Christmas Eve that Johnny was in love with a lady named Rachel and I was so jealous. Then, the Lord started speaking to my heart and said, "Kellie, don't your remember that Rachel is the name of your first daughter." Then he started to separate out the syllables, Ra-chel, Ray-chel, Ray Child. This will be the child that honors the Ray (my maiden name) family. Along with that dream I have been reading Romans 4 about God visiting Abram and telling him so many years before that he and Sarai would have a baby and he would be the father of nations, his children would out number the starts. With this chapter and my dream from the Lord, I am holding onto my Lord who loves to bring forth the impossible because He has the final say not the doctors. I have seen God work many miracles before I met Johnny and with him by my side. I know the Lord can heal this baby with a single word. Continue to pray with us and have faith that the Lord intends to do this.
Now for my wonderful, miracle friends who have seen God in action:
I know some believe that if we have just a little more faith in God's miraculous healing powers and focus solely on the hope of the Lord and his goodness that nothing the doctors say can stand up against God! I believe this too, but I know that even God asked His own son to die on the cross, so that you and I might live forever, if we believe. Jesus did not call forth miracles to save himself, but relinquished his life into the Almighty, suffering for you and me. When I started walking with the Lord, relying on the Lord, I felt the Lord give me three people in the bible that my path would be a combination of theirs. Enoch, for he walked with the Lord all of his days; Ezra, because he stood strong on the Lord's decree and helped others do the same; and Paul. Paul is who the Lord keeps bringing to mind in this situation, especially when the Lord told Ananias that Paul would know what it means to suffer greatly for the Lord. I have always felt this call on my life to know what it means to suffer greatly for the Lord, and not because He has cast me out or picks on me, but in suffering there are so many lessons of God's love and having to rely on His strength fully is so beautiful to me. His Grace does abound! I prayed that our baby would have a humble heart, so that others would come to find the Love of God through our little joy, and my second prayer is that the Lord would know that our first born would be dedicated/consecrated to Him. However, I must add I am thinking more like the example of Hannah with Samuel to raise our baby to Love God with their whole heart, mind and soul, but am willing to give our baby to One who loves it so much more that we would ever know how to!
Now which do we chose: Neither
We chose to TRUST God with his infinite wisdom and history of Unfailing Love. Not what we know or what we think we know or even what we think we ought to believe, but simply laying it before Him and saying, "God, whatever you have chosen we TRUST." We walk forward knowing that we need to be prepared for either situation, bringing a beautiful baby to our earthy home or relinquishing our baby to their heavenly home.
My prayer is that anyone who has read this email thus far will find a loving relationship in Jesus! TRUSTing Him as we have chosen to do, this is the true peace of this world. If it weren't for knowing we belong to God and our lives are guarded by His Might, Johnny and my outlook would be shattered!
Blessings,
Kellie
Back to the 1st email, thanks again for indulging me on the above!
Many of you have asked what you may do for us and you have been doing it all along: We thank you for this!
1. Continue to pray for healing.
2. Cry with us. Laugh with us.
3. Continue the incredible support and love.
4. Hugs are always nice.
5. Emails, cards and calls about your thoughts have been so encouraging.
6. Rejoice with us that Gabriel's parents know he will be taken well care of and is loved beyond measure.
7. My personal request (and I cannot speak for Johnny on this point): Either get the word out about Baby Gabriel or forward this email onto others you know who have been walking with us. Not having to retell the story from the beginning helps my heart to heal quicker and walking forward easier.
Don't be scared to talk to us about this; I absolutely do not mind questions and will try to answer to the best of my ability. We realize that many of you are going to be healing too! Mercy is such and incredible gift from the Lord!
We love you all dearly and are so blessed and grateful that you have held our hands and prayed us through this. Thank you for being you!
Blessings again, Johnny and Kellie
Also, here is a link to a memorial video that our friend, Fred Cuhna made for Gabriel.
www.helpmefred.com/Gabriel
Gabriel Gaffney came into this world at 10:07 am, July 2, 2008. He is here with us, for what we know will only be a few days and then the Lord will receive him and ask us to place him in His care. He will be dedicated to the Lord's loving embrace this Friday, July 4th.
He is 1 lb 12 oz, and 12 inches long. He has lots of dark hair like his daddy. Johnny says he wouldn't have any problem growing a beard like his old man. He is precious. We love him so much already! He has been born with Trisomy 18. We chose Gabriel as his name because we know now that he is not destined to live on this earth, but in the heavenly realms. We wanted him to have an angel's name that exemplified who he is. The angel Gabriel is the herald of all God's mysteries.
From a mother's heart: there are so many thoughts that are running through my mind. When I went into labor on Monday, I felt the Lord urge me in my heart to send an email out titled "choices." Being so heavily sedated and going back into labor before I could put the words to paper, I would love it if you would indulge me on that original email as though we had not given birth to Baby Gabriel.
Here is how it would have gone:
Subject: Baby Gaffney Choices
Dear friends and family,
At this point with more indication markers found by the doctors we believe we have a choice to make based on what we know of our Heavenly Father.
The doctors have now identified 6 markers that lead us to a higher probability that our baby will have a chromosomal issue that is not conducive with life. Here is what they have found: 1. the heart issue, 2. the kidney issue, 3. the missing connective tissue in the brain, 4. higher than normal amniotic fluid, 5. rocker bottom fee, 6. for the 1st time the baby's developmental size does not match the gestational size.
For my sweet friends who read the above laundry list and are already mourning the loss of our little baby:
Have faith. God is the God of yesterday, today, and tomorrow. He hasn't changed and still preforms the miracles of old.
I was given a dream many of you know the day before Johnny and I conceived on Christmas Eve that Johnny was in love with a lady named Rachel and I was so jealous. Then, the Lord started speaking to my heart and said, "Kellie, don't your remember that Rachel is the name of your first daughter." Then he started to separate out the syllables, Ra-chel, Ray-chel, Ray Child. This will be the child that honors the Ray (my maiden name) family. Along with that dream I have been reading Romans 4 about God visiting Abram and telling him so many years before that he and Sarai would have a baby and he would be the father of nations, his children would out number the starts. With this chapter and my dream from the Lord, I am holding onto my Lord who loves to bring forth the impossible because He has the final say not the doctors. I have seen God work many miracles before I met Johnny and with him by my side. I know the Lord can heal this baby with a single word. Continue to pray with us and have faith that the Lord intends to do this.
Now for my wonderful, miracle friends who have seen God in action:
I know some believe that if we have just a little more faith in God's miraculous healing powers and focus solely on the hope of the Lord and his goodness that nothing the doctors say can stand up against God! I believe this too, but I know that even God asked His own son to die on the cross, so that you and I might live forever, if we believe. Jesus did not call forth miracles to save himself, but relinquished his life into the Almighty, suffering for you and me. When I started walking with the Lord, relying on the Lord, I felt the Lord give me three people in the bible that my path would be a combination of theirs. Enoch, for he walked with the Lord all of his days; Ezra, because he stood strong on the Lord's decree and helped others do the same; and Paul. Paul is who the Lord keeps bringing to mind in this situation, especially when the Lord told Ananias that Paul would know what it means to suffer greatly for the Lord. I have always felt this call on my life to know what it means to suffer greatly for the Lord, and not because He has cast me out or picks on me, but in suffering there are so many lessons of God's love and having to rely on His strength fully is so beautiful to me. His Grace does abound! I prayed that our baby would have a humble heart, so that others would come to find the Love of God through our little joy, and my second prayer is that the Lord would know that our first born would be dedicated/consecrated to Him. However, I must add I am thinking more like the example of Hannah with Samuel to raise our baby to Love God with their whole heart, mind and soul, but am willing to give our baby to One who loves it so much more that we would ever know how to!
Now which do we chose: Neither
We chose to TRUST God with his infinite wisdom and history of Unfailing Love. Not what we know or what we think we know or even what we think we ought to believe, but simply laying it before Him and saying, "God, whatever you have chosen we TRUST." We walk forward knowing that we need to be prepared for either situation, bringing a beautiful baby to our earthy home or relinquishing our baby to their heavenly home.
My prayer is that anyone who has read this email thus far will find a loving relationship in Jesus! TRUSTing Him as we have chosen to do, this is the true peace of this world. If it weren't for knowing we belong to God and our lives are guarded by His Might, Johnny and my outlook would be shattered!
Blessings,
Kellie
Back to the 1st email, thanks again for indulging me on the above!
Many of you have asked what you may do for us and you have been doing it all along: We thank you for this!
1. Continue to pray for healing.
2. Cry with us. Laugh with us.
3. Continue the incredible support and love.
4. Hugs are always nice.
5. Emails, cards and calls about your thoughts have been so encouraging.
6. Rejoice with us that Gabriel's parents know he will be taken well care of and is loved beyond measure.
7. My personal request (and I cannot speak for Johnny on this point): Either get the word out about Baby Gabriel or forward this email onto others you know who have been walking with us. Not having to retell the story from the beginning helps my heart to heal quicker and walking forward easier.
Don't be scared to talk to us about this; I absolutely do not mind questions and will try to answer to the best of my ability. We realize that many of you are going to be healing too! Mercy is such and incredible gift from the Lord!
We love you all dearly and are so blessed and grateful that you have held our hands and prayed us through this. Thank you for being you!
Blessings again, Johnny and Kellie
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Background Story
For those that don't know our story, here is a recap. I am a lengthy story teller by nature, but I will try to make it brief.
January 11, 2007 - Lost our first pregnancy, due to blood clot at 7 weeks. Johnny was living in Tulsa and I was finishing my teaching contract in Texas at the time. It was handled very poorly by the doctor's office, and was quite traumatic for me.
January 11, 2008- Found out we were pregnant again. Due date was scheduled for Sept. 17, 2008, Johnny's birthday.
April, 2008 - Everything was going amazing until our 20 week U/S. Found heart problem and a non functioning kidney in baby.
June 2008 - Found part of brain missing in baby and told that baby had a 1 in 6 chance of a non conducive to life, chromosome disorder.
June 30, 2008- Went into labor at 28 weeks. Stopped for 2 days.
July 2, 2008 - Beautiful Gabriel Gaffney born at 10:30am. 1 lb 12 oz, 12 inches long. I will post the email I sent out after his birth.
July 4, 2008 - Gabriel dedicated to the Lord at 9:00 am, and he passed into the Lord's arms at 10:07 am.
October, 2008 - 3rd pregnancy discovered and lost within same week due to drop in progesterone. Normal progesterone level without being pregnant is 1.0, mine was 0.8.
July 2, 2009- 4th pregnancy
August 22, 2009 - 4th pregnancy ends with a trip to emergency room with a blighted ovum. This means there is a placenta, but no baby.
September 2009- Dr. Nilson discovers that I have a condition called Elevated Natural Killer Cells. This means that when I get pregnant, my body thinks the baby is cancer, produces a sort of chemotherapy, attacks and kills the baby. The doctor thinks since Gabriel was an abnormal pregnancy and that the body did not read it the same way as the others. We will never know exactly why he made it.
October 2009- Start an intense body detoxification process with a nutritionist that works in Grapevine/Fort Worth with a fertility doctor. They believed I could reverse the natural killer cells. Thanks to my two friends that recommended it.
April 2010- Took the Natural Killer Cells blood work again and my ranges were .2 out of the normal range. Huge improvement than originally.
July 16, 2010 - 5th pregnancy...Here we go again...
January 11, 2007 - Lost our first pregnancy, due to blood clot at 7 weeks. Johnny was living in Tulsa and I was finishing my teaching contract in Texas at the time. It was handled very poorly by the doctor's office, and was quite traumatic for me.
January 11, 2008- Found out we were pregnant again. Due date was scheduled for Sept. 17, 2008, Johnny's birthday.
April, 2008 - Everything was going amazing until our 20 week U/S. Found heart problem and a non functioning kidney in baby.
June 2008 - Found part of brain missing in baby and told that baby had a 1 in 6 chance of a non conducive to life, chromosome disorder.
June 30, 2008- Went into labor at 28 weeks. Stopped for 2 days.
July 2, 2008 - Beautiful Gabriel Gaffney born at 10:30am. 1 lb 12 oz, 12 inches long. I will post the email I sent out after his birth.
July 4, 2008 - Gabriel dedicated to the Lord at 9:00 am, and he passed into the Lord's arms at 10:07 am.
October, 2008 - 3rd pregnancy discovered and lost within same week due to drop in progesterone. Normal progesterone level without being pregnant is 1.0, mine was 0.8.
July 2, 2009- 4th pregnancy
August 22, 2009 - 4th pregnancy ends with a trip to emergency room with a blighted ovum. This means there is a placenta, but no baby.
September 2009- Dr. Nilson discovers that I have a condition called Elevated Natural Killer Cells. This means that when I get pregnant, my body thinks the baby is cancer, produces a sort of chemotherapy, attacks and kills the baby. The doctor thinks since Gabriel was an abnormal pregnancy and that the body did not read it the same way as the others. We will never know exactly why he made it.
October 2009- Start an intense body detoxification process with a nutritionist that works in Grapevine/Fort Worth with a fertility doctor. They believed I could reverse the natural killer cells. Thanks to my two friends that recommended it.
April 2010- Took the Natural Killer Cells blood work again and my ranges were .2 out of the normal range. Huge improvement than originally.
July 16, 2010 - 5th pregnancy...Here we go again...
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