Week 4

July, 29, 2010

Two red lines...pregnant again...

Excited and so nervous/scared again! We have been here 4 other times before.

Pregnancy at this point to Johnny and I is not a naive, jumping of joy full of hopes and dreams for the future. Reality for us is, pregnancy is nothing more than being pregnant. Pregnancy does not equal baby in our book. What a pessimistic way to start a pregnancy maybe your thinking and could this be good for the baby? Only God knows, but our truth nonetheless.

I want this blog to be an honest expression of my feelings. You are free to agree with me or not. I know for many that know me, some never see the struggles that I face. Not that I put on a show, but I do find that God's Grace is abundant in my weakness. It is by His power that I walk in peace daily. However, none of us are free from negative thoughts, so when they happen I would like to share them. I will also share joys along this journey. My prayer is there is so many more reasons to praise our Glorious Father than to ask for His intervention!

Most people wait until week 6-10 to go to the doctor, but with our special circumstances and with my amazing doctor, Dr. Nilson, I headed to the doctor today.

You see I had just been in the month before and he told me that Johnny and I were dilly-dallying. (his exact words) He stated that I wasn't getting any younger and that Johnny and I needed to "get busy." He took all these tests to see how close to menopause I am, and how many eggs I have left. All the tests came back very positive. I have lots of eggs left and am no where near menopause. He also was trying to get Johnny and me to go to Saint Louis for Invitro Fertilization because of our outcome with Gabriel.

So, when I walked into his office 3 weeks later after doing all the above blood work, he looked at me and said, "Wow, you two made that look easy." So he took my HCG levels and told me if they were doubling in 48 hours we would continue to the next step. On Sunday morning, Dr. Nilson called (this is why I love the guy, what doctor calls you personally on a Sunday to tell you good news). My levels went from 100-300, so we were good to go!