Gabriel's Email

This is the email that I sent after Gabriel was born. I believe the Lord awoke me at 3:00 am from my hospital room to pen His words. May you be blessed as you read it.

Also, here is a link to a memorial video that our friend, Fred Cuhna made for Gabriel.
www.helpmefred.com/Gabriel

Gabriel Gaffney came into this world at 10:07 am, July 2, 2008. He is here with us, for what we know will only be a few days and then the Lord will receive him and ask us to place him in His care. He will be dedicated to the Lord's loving embrace this Friday, July 4th.

He is 1 lb 12 oz, and 12 inches long. He has lots of dark hair like his daddy. Johnny says he wouldn't have any problem growing a beard like his old man. He is precious. We love him so much already! He has been born with Trisomy 18. We chose Gabriel as his name because we know now that he is not destined to live on this earth, but in the heavenly realms. We wanted him to have an angel's name that exemplified who he is. The angel Gabriel is the herald of all God's mysteries.

From a mother's heart: there are so many thoughts that are running through my mind. When I went into labor on Monday, I felt the Lord urge me in my heart to send an email out titled "choices." Being so heavily sedated and going back into labor before I could put the words to paper, I would love it if you would indulge me on that original email as though we had not given birth to Baby Gabriel.

Here is how it would have gone:

Subject: Baby Gaffney Choices

Dear friends and family,

At this point with more indication markers found by the doctors we believe we have a choice to make based on what we know of our Heavenly Father.

The doctors have now identified 6 markers that lead us to a higher probability that our baby will have a chromosomal issue that is not conducive with life. Here is what they have found: 1. the heart issue, 2. the kidney issue, 3. the missing connective tissue in the brain, 4. higher than normal amniotic fluid, 5. rocker bottom fee, 6. for the 1st time the baby's developmental size does not match the gestational size.

For my sweet friends who read the above laundry list and are already mourning the loss of our little baby:
Have faith. God is the God of yesterday, today, and tomorrow. He hasn't changed and still preforms the miracles of old.
I was given a dream many of you know the day before Johnny and I conceived on Christmas Eve that Johnny was in love with a lady named Rachel and I was so jealous. Then, the Lord started speaking to my heart and said, "Kellie, don't your remember that Rachel is the name of your first daughter." Then he started to separate out the syllables, Ra-chel, Ray-chel, Ray Child. This will be the child that honors the Ray (my maiden name) family. Along with that dream I have been reading Romans 4 about God visiting Abram and telling him so many years before that he and Sarai would have a baby and he would be the father of nations, his children would out number the starts. With this chapter and my dream from the Lord, I am holding onto my Lord who loves to bring forth the impossible because He has the final say not the doctors. I have seen God work many miracles before I met Johnny and with him by my side. I know the Lord can heal this baby with a single word. Continue to pray with us and have faith that the Lord intends to do this.

Now for my wonderful, miracle friends who have seen God in action:
I know some believe that if we have just a little more faith in God's miraculous healing powers and focus solely on the hope of the Lord and his goodness that nothing the doctors say can stand up against God! I believe this too, but I know that even God asked His own son to die on the cross, so that you and I might live forever, if we believe. Jesus did not call forth miracles to save himself, but relinquished his life into the Almighty, suffering for you and me. When I started walking with the Lord, relying on the Lord, I felt the Lord give me three people in the bible that my path would be a combination of theirs. Enoch, for he walked with the Lord all of his days; Ezra, because he stood strong on the Lord's decree and helped others do the same; and Paul. Paul is who the Lord keeps bringing to mind in this situation, especially when the Lord told Ananias that Paul would know what it means to suffer greatly for the Lord. I have always felt this call on my life to know what it means to suffer greatly for the Lord, and not because He has cast me out or picks on me, but in suffering there are so many lessons of God's love and having to rely on His strength fully is so beautiful to me. His Grace does abound! I prayed that our baby would have a humble heart, so that others would come to find the Love of God through our little joy, and my second prayer is that the Lord would know that our first born would be dedicated/consecrated to Him. However, I must add I am thinking more like the example of Hannah with Samuel to raise our baby to Love God with their whole heart, mind and soul, but am willing to give our baby to One who loves it so much more that we would ever know how to!

Now which do we chose: Neither
We chose to TRUST God with his infinite wisdom and history of Unfailing Love. Not what we know or what we think we know or even what we think we ought to believe, but simply laying it before Him and saying, "God, whatever you have chosen we TRUST." We walk forward knowing that we need to be prepared for either situation, bringing a beautiful baby to our earthy home or relinquishing our baby to their heavenly home.

My prayer is that anyone who has read this email thus far will find a loving relationship in Jesus! TRUSTing Him as we have chosen to do, this is the true peace of this world. If it weren't for knowing we belong to God and our lives are guarded by His Might, Johnny and my outlook would be shattered!

Blessings,
Kellie

Back to the 1st email, thanks again for indulging me on the above!
Many of you have asked what you may do for us and you have been doing it all along: We thank you for this!
1. Continue to pray for healing.
2. Cry with us. Laugh with us.
3. Continue the incredible support and love.
4. Hugs are always nice.
5. Emails, cards and calls about your thoughts have been so encouraging.
6. Rejoice with us that Gabriel's parents know he will be taken well care of and is loved beyond measure.
7. My personal request (and I cannot speak for Johnny on this point): Either get the word out about Baby Gabriel or forward this email onto others you know who have been walking with us. Not having to retell the story from the beginning helps my heart to heal quicker and walking forward easier.

Don't be scared to talk to us about this; I absolutely do not mind questions and will try to answer to the best of my ability. We realize that many of you are going to be healing too! Mercy is such and incredible gift from the Lord!

We love you all dearly and are so blessed and grateful that you have held our hands and prayed us through this. Thank you for being you!

Blessings again, Johnny and Kellie